It just occurred to me that so many kids that are hyper or ones that can’t sit still for longer than 5-10 minutes are considered “not normal” or they have “ADHD” or whatever.
Here’s what I have to say to those parents who are told these things on a regular basis and/or at every parent teacher conference:
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with YOUR child!
Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been on this mission to reprogram my children. I admit, I use to turn the tv on first thing in the morning. It kept them quiet while I made breakfast. Then I would yell, “Breakfast is ready!!” twenty times until one actually heard me and they all came marching into the kitchen to sit down and eat, only to finish and be back in front of the tv.
I started to become very frustrated with my three year old. I would yell at him, I would threaten to spank him (though we rarely do, it doesn’t work anyway), and I would say “FINE, I’m giving your food to the dogs”. It became repetitive and I became mad at myself. I was so angry at myself because I knew that I created this behavior. I let them walk all over me because I didn’t set up boundaries and/or rules. I cleaned up after them and let them do whatever they wanted to do because I had “better things to do” (like stalk people on facebook). UGH total mom fail.
I hated who I was starting to become. SO, it started with me. I deleted the app for Facebook on my phone. If I want to check it, I would have to go through the internet. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. I took instagram off my phone as well (although it is back on there, only because I have a lot of pictures that I just had to share of my adorable kids). Even then, I still don’t check it nearly as often. I had to reprogram myself first.
Then, one day while the kids and I just finished eating, I had asked my son to come back into the kitchen and clean his mess. He looked at me and said, “NO. I am watching TV. YOU clean it up!”
OH, HELL NO!
I went over to the TV, turned it off, unplugged it, and picked that bad boy up. I felt like such a bad ass. I told my son, “No more TV!” and carried it into my room and locked the door. Now, I knew that there was going to be a melt down, so I prepared myself for that. By preparing, I kept telling myself, “He’s only three, it’s going to hurt, but he’ll get over it quickly”.
Then, I introduced the sticker chart. On this sticker chart he has 4 tasks and 5 chances: Listening, Helping, Picking up toys, and Being nice. Once he fills the sticker chart up (however long it takes) then he can watch TV, but if he messes up and loses a sticker, the TV goes off again. I have to admit, I didn’t miss the TV being on the first week. It was so nice. I even made a sticker chart for my 2 year old daughters, they love it and they also are learning quite quickly- Momma doesn’t mess around.
Here’s what has been happening since I started this sticker chart:
- My son asks me “Is that on my sticker chart?” (of course it is…especially if it’s something like vacuuming)
- All 3 of my kids take their plates, bowls, sippy cups…etc. to the sink when they’re finished. (this has been great at eliminating the spoiled milk sippy cups under my couch!)
- When we go to a friends house my son asks me “Momma, is it ok if I watch TV?” (Of course I say yes, I’m not that mean! But what I love about this, he’s learning to Respect me.)
- They get excited and I get to tell them how proud of them I am, which I think is building their confidence!
- They’re starting to use their manners and I couldn’t be happier!
- I spend quality time with them and we play A LOT. We have a ton of dance parties!
Even though my kids are little, its not an excuse for them, They are more than capable to put their dirty plates in the sink, help vacuum the couch, wash the windows (with a little help from mommy) and much more. I am not going to tell them “No, you can’t help me make breakfast, lunch, or dinner” because they’re too small. They want to help, I’m gonna let them help! I also am not making them do every single one of my chores. That will happen when they’re older…wink, wink.
I’ve been feeling better about myself. Though, I will admit that I catch myself every now and then on my phone and I put it down immediately, but it’s good because I’m still training my old brain to do new tricks.
I am not saying I am right and I’m definitely not saying that I am perfect, but I am saying that your kids are the way they are because you are the way you are. If you’re an active person and always have to be doing something, i.e. cleaning, walking, running, working out, etc. and your kids are doing the same thing on a different level (being a kid) then there’s absolutely nothing wrong with them. They need to do something to stay out of trouble, so give them something to do! If your the type of person who likes to sit and watch TV, eat junk, sleep a lot and so does your kids, but you’re not liking that, Then change yourself first before trying to change your kids.
I want my kids to have fun and enjoy life. I want them to be loving, caring, and respectful. So, I’m going to have good ol’ clean fun, I’m going to enjoy life and I’m going to try my hardest to be loving, caring, and respectful. It’s true, they’re always watching us.
Until next time…